I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
