Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Randomize
