At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
