who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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