I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
