why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
