this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Randomize
