He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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