There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
