I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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