I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
