every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
