I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
