I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
