belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We are two peas in an std pod
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
