I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
