WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
