My hand turned me down
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
