Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
