no you cant smoke seaweed
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
