Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
