She's JV to your varsity
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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