You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
