There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Sorry about my life...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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