He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
