swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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