someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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