Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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