i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
