I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
