My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
