$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
