There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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