laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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