Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
