He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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