well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My vagina just recognized that song.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
