so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
You peed on a flamingo?!?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
