Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
