Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You pole danced in your parka.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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