Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We need a shit load of segways right now
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
