You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
