I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
