Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She bit a glass in half.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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