At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Crop dusting thru forever 21
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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