I wish I could teleport
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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