I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I will be naked everywhere
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
