do herpes really smell.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
