'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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