I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
