The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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