She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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